[You're in a golfcart being driven by an unfairly handsome southern man. There's a monster somewhere—you know there is, even though it isn't here now. You're bait, and all you have to do is brag; show your pride.
Unfortunately you are definitely a very modest person, so this is definitely a very difficult task to complete. It's a good thing the man with you is so good at pushing your buttons, reminding you just how much better looking you are than he is! (That isn't what he said at all, but it certainly sounds like it to your perfect ears.)
Naturally, once you start talking about your good looks it's only natural to mention how blessed you are to have the brains to match it. Oh, and the best thieving skills on the planet, basically. And the—
Your speech is cut short when the air itself rips open with an angry orange tear, and a MASSIVE FUCKING TENTACLE surges out in an attempt to snatch you up. It misses, narrowly, but now it's on you to keep it here. You've got to give them (whoever them is) time to finally get rid of it.]
Holy shit eldritch horrors
Unfortunately you are definitely a very modest person, so this is definitely a very difficult task to complete. It's a good thing the man with you is so good at pushing your buttons, reminding you just how much better looking you are than he is! (That isn't what he said at all, but it certainly sounds like it to your perfect ears.)
Naturally, once you start talking about your good looks it's only natural to mention how blessed you are to have the brains to match it. Oh, and the best thieving skills on the planet, basically. And the—
Your speech is cut short when the air itself rips open with an angry orange tear, and a MASSIVE FUCKING TENTACLE surges out in an attempt to snatch you up. It misses, narrowly, but now it's on you to keep it here. You've got to give them (whoever them is) time to finally get rid of it.]